Everyone has their favorite books in the bible – mine use to be James but, over the last couple of years I’ve learned to really appreciate the book of proverbs.
The book of proverbs is filled with so much wisdom but, it’s more than that it’s full of discernment, it’s full of guidance, and it’s also full of truth and promise.
Proverbs 12:19 Truth stands the test of time; Lies are soon exposed.
Proverbs 12:20 Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil; joy fills hearts that are planning peace
Proverbs 12:22 The Lord hates those who don’t keep their word, but he delights in those who do.
Proverbs 12:23 Wise people don’t make a show of their knowledge, but fools broadcast their folly.
Proverbs 12:24 Work hard and become a leader, be lazy and become a slave.
Provers 13:5 Those who are godly hate lies; the wicked come to shame and disgrace.
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.
Proverbs 13:19 It is pleasant to see dreams come true, but fools will not turn from evil to attain them.
Let me stop here for a moment, reflect, and add some imput. We all have dreams, we all have aspirations, we all want our future’s to be filled with light, good, and bettering correct? I’m sure your answer was yes, and for my readers who have children (including the children who are young adults) I’m sure you all want the same things for them that you do for yourself, and you try to instill wisdom and direction into their hearts, and minds but, what happens when we go off make our own choices, and make a huge mistake that may destroy those dreams like my ex did.
I am being honest when I say where it stands right now unless he does exactly what I’ve told him to do and make things right with me there is absolutely no way he will ever get credentialled and become a pastor. He has absolutely destroyed his chances unless he makes it right with me therefore it proves Proverbs 13:19 correct as does it prove Proverbs 12:19 and the rest that I’ve posted above correct.
Proverbs 16:2 People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.
Proverbs 16:25 There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death (Don’t be deceived – but unfortunately it’s a little to late for him and the longer that this continues he’s dragging her right down with him)
Proverbs 18:17 Any story sounds true until someone sets the record straight!
I think I just found my new favorite verse in the bible this seriously just made me laugh because it is so true!
Proverbs 19:22 Loyalty makes a person attractive. It is better to be poor than dishonest.
Proverbs 22:1 Choose a good reputation over great riches for being held in high esteem is better than having silver or gold.
I could keep going today but, I think I’ve made my point.
Do you have any favorite verses in Proverbs that you’d like to share?
Have you ever looked for a sweet and spicy marinade without finding what it is that you want? If you’re craving sweet and spicy chicken this is the perfect marinade for your next chicken kabob or grilled chicken recipe to try.
2 Cups Pineapple Juice
½ Cup Teriyaki Sauce
3 Tbsp Light Brown Sugar
Mix all ingredients together until well blended pour over chicken and marinate in the refrigerator for 24 hours.
I combined the marinated chicken on skewers with pineapple chunks (I used the juice that came from the pineapple chunk cans and also included sliced onions, and green peppers that were marinated in some of the juice from an extra can of pineapple that I served alongside the chicken.
No one wants to walk into a room after working all day to hear themselves being bad mouthed but, it happens all the time, and it happened to me yesterday.
I’ve recently started a new job. It’s not something I’ve mentioned here because in all honesty my time recently has been very limited and my schedule has had to go through a lot of adjustments but, the position is at what has always been a dream company for me, it’s a position that I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to take, and it’s honestly one that I am really growing to enjoy however, several times over the course of the last couple of weeks I’ve come home, talked about my day, and have had what I am now taking as an insult thrown in my face of “how can you just walk into a company, get a job, and be a manager when you have absolutely no experience at that company?” Yes, it’s yet again another insult, it’s yet again another jab, it’s yet again another confidence killer because some people just can’t stand to see anyone else succeed but, today the conversation that I walked in on was one in which I was being called a liar, because I’m apparently always lying about what my position really is at that company, and she’s now taking everything that I say with a grain assault as a result of my apparent lies.
Really? Who is filling her head with garbage over, and over again? I can take one guess, and so can one of her daughters who knows about the conversation that I walked in on today, who knows what my position title is, and who has my company cell phone number that has a voicemail with my title on it, and I guarantee you we are right. What is it with negative people? What is it with people not wanting to see you succeed and excel? I just do not understand it.
Everyone needs a support system, everyone needs to walk through life knowing that they have people on their side no matter what comes up. For me Amanda and Elizabeth have been those people as have Charlene, and Lindsay. It’s funny, my closest friends for the most part are in Georgia, and yet somehow I got sent back here and feel like a fish out of water in many ways even though I am in the place that has always been home.
I climbed the corporate ladder in Georgia, I established myself, gained a lot of experience, have managed several employees with absolutely no issues in the past but, even before I moved back here I was on the phone with my Aunt who was the one making the comments that she was today, and I found myself realizing that she views me as a child still, and doesn’t realize just how far I went in my career, and what it is that I was doing while I was in Georgia. Instead she pegs me for this girl with no experience, no knowledge, and no management skills, and it’s highly offensive to me. It was like her remarks prior to me even getting into town regarding the real estate field which I’ve spent the last 5 years working in, and had worked in the field prior to that both in New York, and Georgia. This woman doesn’t want to understand that I’ve accomplished a lot over the last 12 years that I’ve been working, I’ve experienced a lot, I’ve grown a lot, and I’m not the child that she remembers. She loves to talk about her grand children and all that they’ve accomplished but, when it comes to me I guess I’m suppose to spend my entire life doing grunt work since I’m apparently the black sheep that “doesn’t have any family.”
Again, who is feeding her these quotes that she keeps repeating over and over again? Who is feeding her questioning statements that are unlike her typical train of thought? Time changes things, I understand that but, this is more than just the damage time does, this is anger, rage, frustration, and lashing out on people (more than just myself but, I won’t get into that) on anyone that doesn’t 1) agree with her or 2) doesn’t walk the way that she thinks that they should walk.
I want more for myself than to serve patrons at a pub, or restaurant, I always have, and I always will. Mr. C. didn’t change that about me, and neither will anyone else but, knowing that I’ve accomplished more is offensive to her apparently because I have a management position coming in to a company while all of her grand kids have had to work their way up inside of a company and it’s taken them years. Yes, I have a vital position, yes, it’s a management position, yes, I’m being considered in the same company already for other positions because they know that I’m over qualified for the position that I have now, and know that I would be better served elsewhere even though I’m getting things in order where I am now in the nows but, instead of being happy for me I’m being put down because to her it came to easy for me but, reality says that it didn’t. I have worked really hard to get where I am at in my career, I have worked 60-70 hours a week and done my time working my way up the corporate ladder, and I’ve earned what it is that I have now. While my cousins have focused on college, boyfriends, girlfriends, and weddings in their younger years directly following high school because they didn’t know what they wanted to do, I focused on my career, which is why I am where I am at in this stage of my career with the position that I have now. That doesn’t mean I am trying to bad mouth them, it’s just what they did. I didn’t bother with college, for many reasons but, instead what I did was I went right out into the job market, and gained experience that became valuable once the recession hit in this country just like I knew it would. I have many years of experience on my cousins but, at the same time I’m also older than the rest of the girls and that’s never taken in to consideration either.
There is nothing wrong with chasing after your dreams, there is nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself but, I think the value we place in a support system is underestimated at the same time, and in all honesty it’s sad because on days like today when I walked into the phone conversation that I did I grabbed my phone, went outside, and called the person that I knew would know what was going on because, she had experienced the very same thing the night before as did my baby cousins (who are no longer babies) over a totally different subject that was centered around her, and her stubborness with good reason, and we all are in agreement that someone is filling her head with repetitive garbage that doesn’t protect her or her best interest, and is only hurting her the longer that it continues.
Have you ever experienced the negativity that I’m repetitively experiencing? Have you ever been underestimated and undervalued by your own family? If you have how have you proven their perceptions wrong? We all need a support system, and in all honesty that’s a big reason why I ended up moving back here but, to move back up here, and be faced with negative perception when certain individuals are still living in the 1950’s and don’t understand how the career ladder now works is very frustrating to say the least. How would you explain it, and how would you handle it? But then my final question becomes do you even think that it would make a difference if you did find an easier way to explain that things work differently than they did back in those days?
This weekend was yet another interesting weekend at the lake. Between a hawaiian themed birthday party, buying decor and food, prepping chicken for skewers with homemade bbq sauce, and homemade hawaiian marinade, making my famous homemade spinach dip, and homemade garlic parmessian baguettes, finding the time to make my famous banana pudding cake, playing hostess, socialize with the other half of my family who are all aging that I haven’t seen in about 11 years, and playing bartender to almost everyone I can honestly say that I am beyond exhausted as I type this out but, somewhere in the midst of my exhaustion the realization hit me that what I found myself doing today is my passion, and it is what I am good at.
Why does everyone ask me to host events, make cakes, cook for them, decorate their weddings, and organize their events for them…it’s because yes, I love to cook, I love to organize, I love to decorate, and I love to serve other people.
Everyone raved about my spinach dip, and the bread, everyone loved the hawaiian chicken skewers that was made with a concoction that I made just from taste, and everyone loved how attentive I was, and on top of things I was.
It’s why Kim literally begged me to help her with her wedding, it’s why I got asked countless times to plan, and organize bridal showers, baby showers, small group events, and even larger events when I was at my old church, it’s why Angie use to beg me to manage set up for large events at the church for weddings, and other events (among keeping me at eye sight to find out what was really going on I am sure.) And it’s why things went so smoothly today.
The heart of the matter is that if you have a passion for something you need to pursue it. Yes, I love to cook, and entertain. I was in my element, and in my happy place for the first time in a very long time today and somewhere in the midst of it all I realized that a part of me had been brought to life again. We all want love, we all want appreciation but as Christine and Manny (his old boss) said the Sunday before I left I sacrificed myself for him in every possible way to give him a gift that didn’t go unnoticed by anyone who was watching. I sacrificed the very thing that meant the most to me, the very thing that has defined me since I could open my mouth both musically, and verbally. Lust doesn’t do that but true love does but, on top of that I sacrificed my friendships, I sacrificed my reputation to lies, and I sacrificed my own integrity to keep his future open to his dreams therefore he only has himself to blame for losing it all in the end and trust me when I say that, that is exactly what he did and if I wasn’t positive about that I wouldn’t say it.
He murdered me, and who it is that I am, and have always been for the purpose of gaining, I was his test, our relationship was his test, and he failed miserably with a score lower than what I got the first 3 times I failed algebra even though he passed the written test before anyone else.
What he did to me showed them all who he really is, what he is capable of, and what a sadistic bastard he can be behind closed doors when he doesn’t think anyone is watching. Little did he know they were all watching, and I knew they were which is why I was very careful about how I walked because I wanted to make sure that I didn’t have anything weighing on my concience to make him look honest when that was the furthest thing from the truth.
Lying, cheating, and attempting to manipulate and deceive countless people including your own parents is just flat out wrong. I am not a fan of the woman who absolutely does owe me an apology for all of the things that she has said about me and as a result of her choice of words done to me but, it is what it is and I’d be amazed if I actually ever got one but, the fact of the matter is that she said what she did, and did what she did bec asu se she was flat out being lied to and it’s just sad to me.
How her son ever became the way that he did I will never understand. What ever made him the sadistic, narcissistic bastard that he is God only knows but he is not ready for marriage when it should be blatantly obvious to everyone that he isn’t grounded in himself. He robbed me of myself, I had no say and no choice but to comply with him and certain other individuals but had I been given a chance to speak and had I been given a chance to prove that I wasn’t what I was being accused of being and it was actually the other way around then maybe things would have turned out differently.
He made it impossible to do anything but breathe in that relationship now that I look back. I loved him, and a part of me still does. I don’t want to see him hurting, I don’t want to see anything bad happen to him but, I look at the heart of the matter and realize that 1 by 1 everything that he took away and robbed me of I am gaining back. He can’t do or say anything because I am enjoying a drink, he can’t do or say anything because I am socializing, or having parties, he can’t do or say anything because I am going to church, and best of all he can’t monitor every move I make through others because he doesn’t have a clue what I am doing.
Life right now is about work, family, and sleep, and honestly, I like it that way.